Since Pam’s telling me “puro love” entries ko… fine I’ll write one that suites my friendsss the best.

When are u going to say it’s over.. as in live the true meaning of OVER – enough-of-this-crap-i-have-to-start-having-a-life! Most of us, if not.. some, have a hard time facing the reality that is in front of us/them. We cannot see that we are desperately hanging on to someone, who doesn’t even want you to hang on to them and is doing every possible thing to shoo you away! Most of us are blinding ourselves of the actuality that is there because as how some put it “Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano”, or “Mahal ko kasi”, and even “Mahal naman niya talaga ako eh”. If that person really loves you HE WON”T HURT YOU in ANY WAY, you wouldn’t think that something’s wrong and YOU WON’T sleep your way CRYING. I know it is very hard to face the real deal but sooner or later it’ll hunt you down. They say that love is blind. Such a cliché, yeah I know and I don’t even agree to that. Love doesn’t make you blind of the reality that is there. Love is wonderful it makes you see the good things. That is why you fell in the first place. That’s why you can never justify your foolish ways because love blinded you, it was your SELFISHNESS. Yes fooling your self is selfishness. You only think about yourself, that you don’t wanna know the truth because you don’t wanna get hurt. (If you don’t want yourself to get hurt, then how come you’re still holding on to that relationship that was so over the time it started?) Selfishness because you don’t know if the other person still feels the same way. And yes selfishness because you are only thinking of what you want and not what is good for you (try LOVING YOUR SELF FOR A CHANGE).

Being together doesn’t guarantee that you are happy. What good is a relationship if the both of you are looking for something or someone else? Yes I admit that I will never know what they see that makes them hold on. I might be right… or wrong. But whatever it is, I am a friend and I know when I see that my friends are hurting. I will never tell them what they should and not do all I am here for is make them see and let them decide for themselves.

If ever the time comes and I am at that crossroad, I would definitely want and need my friends to be there and tell me what each road holds for me.

          
Niki and I got our ears pierced last Tuesday, it’s funny coz we both don’t like the idea of guy’s having pierced ears and girls having more than the usual count of earrings. The whole experience of thinking through as we walk in and out of shops if we are going to get some holes was really something for me. It’s like we are going thru a difficult situation that got us scared and excited at the same time. It isn’t the “piercing” but the experience that both of us went thru that really wedged in my mind. I love looking at him the whole time I was going from one shop to another because I’ve never seen him gave so much thought about something… when I was looking at him I can’t think of anything else but how special he is and how happy I am that it’s his hands that I am holding at that moment and that he’s the guy I fell in love with and the guy I am so desperately mad about. When I held his hand when he sat there waiting to be shot.. I said to myself that this is how it's supposed to be. Now I know what they meant when they said “you just wanna seize the moment”. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic but it’s just me. I just dream myself away. I’m just so happy right now. I may not have the “most perfect guy in the world” (I don’t even think there is such.. and we can never get everything y’know) but I have right now, the most wonderful person I’ve ever met and had in my whole life and I would never dare change a thing.

1. Aces! Ace of Spade, Club, Heart and Diamonds. Pusoy Dos is what my friends and I usually do when we’re hanging around and the only card game I know how to play. Alicia Keys. Adjustment Period. That’s hell week for all of us.

2. Bianca and Bahay. Bianca stays inside, no Friday and Saturday nights for this gurl. Some people often get the wrong impression that I am the type who’s always outside well in fact I am not. My friend placed BEACHES and BORA for this letter, well mine’s Bahay. Betterliving. You can find me here, coz this is where my beau lives. I really thought BL’s in Pilar Village. Well that was before I met him. Black Forest and Blueberry Cheesecake. Baking!!

3. Cats, I love cats! They’re so cute. I prefer them than dogs coz they’re not as loud, they don’t smell as bad and they are so affectionate. I have none tho. *sighs* Reminds me of Maxi, Renee’s maldita/senorita cat! But she’s still cute!!! Anyone who’d want to give me a Persian Cat?

4. Dogs – I don’t adore them like how I adore cats but they’re okay. DOMINIC, the D.. the better half. Dreams. Dreaming is one of the wonderful things a person can do. For in dreams you can be anyone you want to be, have whatever it is you want and just be in perfect bliss. Dreams do not only take place when we sleep… Daydreaming! One of them thangs I usually do. DLSU.

5. European Studies, my majors. Europe. Their culture, their lifestyle. They’re so different from us Asians and the Westerners. They have the most beautiful structures and the sweetest languages.

6. French language!!! Merci, Merci Beaucoup, Bonsoir, J’vous aime.. Hehe that’s what I know so far, the Basics. My Friends – I can never do without them! Farts - hehehe I don’t know why but Farts attest that you’re comfortable with someone. Just don’t ask how.

7. Gameboy Advance. Go-sees. G-tech G3, Greenplace!

8. HH (hot headed) then one minute so Happy. That’s how HUNN is and that’s what I love about him. He never stays in neurotic mode that long. I just give him a smile and a funny face he’s okay na. We sort of have this valuable-unknown-even-to-the-both-of-us aphorism. Don’t stay in HH mode coz that won’t do any good. Hell yes. Hair Ball! Nyehehehe!

9. I. You can never have too much of “I” if you really want to make a relationship work.

10. Jacket – an essential if you want to survive DLSU during this time of the year. Jeep. Jive. Jammin’. Jump.

11. Kimmy – the cute lil angel. Kar-ma (kär’mə) The total effect of one’s conduct, believed in Buddhism and Hinduism to determine one’s destiny in a future life. Am not a Buddhist and certainly not a Hindu but I do believe in karma. Karma for them might take place in your future life when you reincarnate but for me karma takes place in this same lifetime. What you’ve done to others will come back to you thousand folds.

12. Love. That crazy lil thing and certainly the one thing you wouldn’t want gone in your life. Tho it sounds clichéd we all know it’s true. Lazy. That’s me especially Mondays. Lotion. “Hunn lotion please”

13. Money? I don’t wanna be a hypocrite, it’s an essential. Frantic Mondays. The day you really have to drag me out of bed. Movies. There are a lot of trash flicks but some are really worth watching coz you can learn from them. Modelling. Hoping I can go full-time after graduating college. MP my barkada from highschool and barkada till now.

14. Now. Now is more important than the past and even the future. Because NOW you can make up for all the slip-ups you’ve done and what you do NOW determines your future. Naked. Could be the NAKED truth or just simply NAKED. Nikiboy! The Notebook of Nicholas Sparks. November 11 2002.

15. Obvious. You can never hide anything. I never knew I was in love with Niki till my friends told me it’s already OBVIOUS. Was OBVIOUS to them but not to me. How was it OBVIOUS enough for them to see? When my face turned real pink like my shirt’s. OH NO! It’s scary when you hear this from me.

16. PINK. My happy color. I can wear pink the whole week. The color’s never out of style. What’s pink is pink. Hehe.. Perriwinky. The would be name of our future dog/cat. Pray for mercy from… Puss in Boots.

17. Queen. A lady should always be treated like a queen. She deserves respect and a lot of lovin’! Queer. A derogatory term! Never use this one. I have nothing against them coz they’re such fun people.

18. Respect. Everyone should know how to give respect and everyone deserves to have respect. Real People. I like being with real people. You don’t have to pretend you’re someone else when you’re around them for they’ll accept you for what you really are and not because you’re the person you think they want you to be. Be real! Rivermaya!

19. SLEEP all day. I love sleeping!!! Shrek. Sagittarius, niki and bian’s signs! Slippers!! Feet friendly!

20. Television. I can stay in front of the television the whole day. Thank you. Hearing this from someone else means so much. Taba! Hearing this from someone else makes me wanna break their necks. Trust – Never mess with it. You might be able to earn it again but you can never GET IT ALL BACK!

21. Umbrella keeps me safe from the sun and the rain. Don’t use it during windy days unless you wanna see it go wrong side out. UAAP season, the time when almost everyone gets so intense even the scalpers.

22. Vintage cars are fascinating. Vintage clothing on the other hand’s so stylish. Hmmmm… everybody’s going vintage! Valiums. Does not need prescription but is restricted especially when a lot of people started abusing V’s. Wonder how it works for me?

23. I love the color White, the color doesn’t shout but says a lot. One of the things I really hate is Whistling. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it!

24. Xavier School. Don’t why that came to mind but that starts with X so what the heck.

25. Yummy cakes! Yuppie – someday I’ll be one.

26. Led Zeppelin. Thanks to the School of Rock. Zip Codes are very important especially when you want your mail to US arrive faster plus you’re sure the one you’re sending it to will receive it. Take it from me when I sent Niki pictures and a ring, I checked the zip code 10x coz they’re too important to end up like Stan’s. (my tears gone cold im wondrin’ why…)

The look on your face, it could never explain your heart

and the touch of my lips, they could never tell you my thoughts

you want me to change. but i can't get used to all you want me to be.

i just can't pretend to be anyone else,

cuz its not really me.

this is my world..

this is who i am

and im not gonna give up myself to make your life better.

you said "this is how it is" but i got my own life to live.

and you can either accept me or baby let me go.

this love that we share can withstand all the obstacles that life brings forth.

and i will receive you for who you are,
who you were,
and baby who you will be.

you said "i promise you the stars and im giving you all i can",

now you say love is not enough

i know u will see

if ur life turns around,

in my heart there is room for u with me in my world...